


Abused Touch

by talyag



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-08 06:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talyag/pseuds/talyag
Summary: Seto being introspective of how he went from hating being touched, to falling in love with Joey.Note: this is not about abuse between the two of them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: implied abuse. Triggers. You have been warned.  
> not beta'd

I didn’t like to be touched, not by anyone. My past was riddled with scars from being touched by others, and I never wanted that again.  
  
You were the first person I let touch me that wasn’t my brother. It had started out so subtle, a brush of your foot next to mine in class. For whatever reason, the teachers determined we worked much better next to each other, instead of apart, despite how much we argued sometimes. I’d feel it, a gentle nudge when you thought I wasn’t paying attention. A slight tap of your foot against mine. It was so simple.

You noticed it made me jump, that first time it was simple, you wrote a note on a piece of paper, told me to stop zoning out. I scoffed and kept my eyes forward as I worked to control my breathing. It settled gradually, and this became routine.

Then came the paired work. You were the only one who would put up with me, and as much as I complained, I at least knew you would try to work with me. The first time you brought me to your place, I learned you lived with your father. We sat across from each other quietly working on homework. Eventually we got to the project at hand.

You had ideas, you got too close, and my breath hitched. I didn’t know how to interact, and you seemed to know I was nervous, you told me to relax as you stole the pen from my hand and started sketching out ideas. That was the first time I noticed just how beautiful you are. You’re smile was calming, and for the first time, I felt at ease.

I was never sure if you noticed the effect you had on me that day. For me, that was the turning point of before and after.

After that, we spent time on Fridays working together. You gave me the reason I desperately needed to stop working for the weekend. Mokuba was happy I had a friend, though I was unsure how to tell him it was you.

It was a Thursday night that my phone started buzzing at 3am. It was on for emergencies and was my personal line. You were one of 3 people who could reach me on it, although I hadn’t told you that.

I answered on the second ring, your voice was soft and scared.

“Heya…. Sorry for the late hour, but I got a bit roughed up, could you maybe help me out? I’m stuck at the hospital…” You sounded so defeated and scared, it was so unlike anything I ever expected from you, you were always so happy.

I told you I’d be there in 15minutes, I arrived in 10. It was my hospital, so I told them to send me the bill as I signed you out. You looked terrible. I didn’t ask what happened until we got in the car. You were stiff for a few minutes, and it wasn’t until I took your hand in mine that you finally spoke.

“My dad came home wasted… Found my porn stash, kicked the shit out of me, knocked me out, and then dropped me at the hospital I presume.” You stated holding my hand loosely, I gave you a small squeeze to let you know I was listening. “I woke up, they told me I likely had a concussion, but everything else was bruises, and I could go, but needed someone to take me in case there was a concussion.

“I’m so sorry I called and woke you… I didn’t know who else might answer at this hour. I didn’t want Yugi or Tristan or Tea’ to find out. Just fuck I’m sorry Kaiba… You can drop me off wherever, I just hate hotels. I’m sorry I woke you.” It was all said with the same defeated tone you had on the phone when you called, and it broke me to hear someone that is always so happy so broken.

“I’ve got spare bedrooms. You need rest, and to be taken care of, not left on the streets.” I responded, giving your hand another soft squeeze. I saw the tears well up in your eyes as you held my hand tighter.

The rest of the short drive back was quiet. I didn’t let your hand go until the car was parked, and we had to get out of the car. Once I lost the warmth of your hand in mine, I realized just how far we’d come. I never expected to hold someone’s hand… and here we were in the car for 15minutes holding hands and I had initiated it. You were always going to be different for me.

That night was the first time I saw the real you. The one that was vulnerable, abused, and needed someone to just be there. I knew from that moment on, I’d always be for you, what I needed and never had. You asked to borrow something to sleep in, and I asked to check the marks.

As I grabbed some silk pajamas, you slid off your shirt to reveal bruises, new and old, all over your strong chest. You had hand prints going the wrong way, just peaking out over the pants you had worn. Your back had lacerations on it, some fresh, some not. I felt your breath hitch as I ran a hand to your hip where the hand marked bruise was. Your eyes filled with tears as you struggled not to sob. I walked you over to the bed to sit down and set the pajamas next to you.

I was devastated by the evidence of what I could only suspect your father had done. I ran a gentle hand over your back as your choked sobs turned into sobs. I told you it would be okay. I promised he’d never hurt you again, and slowly, as you calmed some, I took you into my arms to hold you in the way you seemed to want.

Eventually long after your sobs had died down, I sent Roland a text message to get the hospital records and file a police report.

That was the first night you slept in my arms. I had never been so close to anyone in my life, I had never snuggled, and I had never been so comfortable. When I knew you were well and asleep, I gently placed a kiss on your forehead and drifted off to sleep listening to the sound of your breathing.


	2. A talk with Yugi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaiba reflects on Joey after that night and speaks to Yugi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reviews and Kudos! :) I appreciate them all!

The next morning, you woke slowly and smiled gently at me.

“I’m sorry about last night…” You apologized again, as if waking up in my arms didn’t assure you it was okay.

“Stop apologizing. I picked you up at 3am from the hospital. Roland called us in sick to school. Please relax. This is what friends are for.” I said quietly, allowing you to stay in my arms if you wanted to. “Although, might want to text your buddies, your phone has been going off for the last half hour.” I stated, as you reached over, and slid just out of my arms, to get your phone.

I watched as you sent an irritated text message, and then lounged back into the bed next to me. There was a long silence between us. You seemed unsure what to say, but I could tell you didn’t need me to say anything.

I let you think as I considered the options myself, I knew what I wanted for you, but that mattered far less than what you would want for you. Though I conceded that there were things I would fight to the end of the earth to prevent, and you going back with your father was one of them.

You never said he sexually assaulted you, but I knew he must have. The bruises were all the proof I needed to know he violated you in a way my adopted father never did me. His friend tried once, one of the few times my adopted father was proud of me – I broke the guys’ nose and then gave him a heel to the gonads. Worked perfectly. I digress though.

This is about you, not me, and you need me now. I reach for your hand and you sigh quietly.

“Where do I go now?” you said it quietly, I wasn’t even sure if you said it, or I just imagined it.  

“You take a room here…” I started running my thumb over your hand as you let the words sink in. I went on after a deep breath. “I can have you emancipated, my lawyers can take care of it, and since you’ll be legal soon enough it shouldn’t be too bad.” I take a deep breath before continuing on, “I’m already legal and have had custody of Mokuba since I was 15 and emancipated. I don’t need you to pay rent, and I can sign forms to say you will have a place to live until you turn eighteen.

“I don’t want you going back Joey…” I finally said the words I needed you to hear.

I finally met your eyes to see the tears in them as you took your hand from mine and wrapped your arms around me and snuggled into my embrace.

I’ll never forget that moment… it’s the moment I realized you and I were meant to be. Just like this. I had moved from hating being touched, to having you in my arms. You fit perfectly.

We stayed in bed that whole day. I spoke to Mokuba to make sure he was okay with it in the evening, after I had made sure you were comfortable and fed. I never told him why, just that it was important. He gave me the annoying look of knowing I cared more than I would say. He didn’t question and just accepted it.

You were emancipated. You lived with me and Mokuba after that. It was six months before you turned eighteen.

During that time, you had your fair share of ups and downs. The nights really triggered it.

Some nights, you’d sleep on your own in silence, the next day, you were almost back to your usual self, however still a little distant from everyone if someone looked hard enough (I don’t think anyone did though).

Some nights, you had terrible nightmares and I’d go try to calm you down and bring you out of them. I don’t think you realized I had because the next day you would be silent. There would be a cold wall drawn up between you and the rest of your world. It was your defense mechanism.

Those days followed nights in my room. You’d apologize and just say you really hadn’t wanted to be around anyone. Then you’d lay down in my bed and start talking, until quietly you’d fall asleep, gently touching me as if to ground you. The days that followed were my favorite. Those were the days people truly question what was going on between us. You would stay with me and get me to talk. Some days I even allowed you to drag me to your friends.

Those pesky friends of yours were always my biggest concern. It was after a particularly bad night, where I barely slept even after you were calmed down that Yugi finally got up the courage to corner me.

“Kaiba, what is going on with Joey?” He said it with the fierceness of calling an attack on the battle field. I looked down at him and did my best to play nicely. It wasn’t about me, it was about you.

“It’s not my business to say. Just know he’s safe. He’s staying at my house with Mokuba and I.” I tried to keep to the facts, to not give anything away. Yugi just gave me a questioning look.

“Does he know?” He finally asked me after letting my words sink in. I must have given him a funny look because he elaborated. “You love him. I wasn’t sure until now. I mean it seemed like you cared an awful lot, but I didn’t get it. Now I think I do.

“He’s silent and you’re pulling your hair out. Days you are gone, he won’t talk to anyone. He jumps at the slightest touch, yet I’ve seen you touch him and a small smile graces his lips. I’ve watched him be attached at this hip with you on days he’s most happy.

“You though Kaiba, you hide it well. It’s very subtle that you care. You seem so annoyed half the time no matter his mood. He’s naturally oblivious to it, but he’s living with you. You’ve kept him close. So I’ll ask again, does he know?” Yugi asked. I recall staring at him for a good minute without any idea what to say.

How do you really answer being called out on something you know, but didn’t realize was obvious. While I thought it through, I did note that Yugi must have some psychic stuff going on.

After a pause I answered as best I could.

“Not that I know of. It doesn’t matter if he knows or not. He’s my best friend first. I just want him to be happy again. I want to always see him smile. I want him to be happy. I want him to feel safe.”  Yugi just smiled as I started to ramble, I paused for a second before saying the last thing I ever wanted to admit. “He doesn’t need to know I’m in love with him. He doesn’t need to think he owes me something. If he ever loves me back, I want it to be on his terms.” I stated solemnly.

I looked up into shocked purple eyes. You gave me one last look before you gave me parting words that would stick.

“Fight for him, always. You already have his heart, even if he doesn’t realize it. You’ve saved him from a path of destruction. Thank you Kaiba, please take care of him.”

I was too shocked to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually suck at this multi chapter thing. However, I sat down last night and just had the itch to continue this story. So I started, and didn't get far. I had a basis for where to go, but no substance. Luckily a nice drive today and I got this chapter in my head. I have chapter 3 started already.
> 
> I'm a very analytical person like Kaiba - not a genius, just analytical. I've found people like us can be super super introspective like this. I relate to what he's saying. I relate to reliving things in my head. I can remember the moment I realized I knew perfectly well what they mean in stories when they say "like kissing your brother" - yeah got that. 
> 
> Review if you'd like. I hope this lived up to standards. :)


	3. Business Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seto goes away for Business

The conversation stayed with me for weeks.

You continued to have ups and downs, but more good days than bad.

It was a month and a half after the incident that I was finally pulled away from Domino for more than a few hours. It was going to be a three-night business trip and I was pulling my hair out worrying as I packed.

You lounged on my bed, as I scrambled around the room. After a while you seemed to finally find the words you were looking for and asked me why I was being frantic. I gave you a look that I thought clearly read that it should be obvious, and you still looked confused.

“Will you be okay while I’m gone?” I had asked looking through my closet, trying to sound non-challan. You gave a nervous laugh.

“I’ve got to be Kaiba. I’ll be here. You beefed up security, yes I noticed.” You laughed at that one, I didn’t realize it was obvious. “You need to be able to work… I promise if I need you I’ll call, no matter what hour.”  You paused before saying the last thing I had expected. “Can I stay in your room while your gone?” I remember being shocked as you rushed to justify. “I always sleep better in here with you. It’s comfort.”

I came out of the closet after that and told you that was fine. We didn’t discuss further what it meant. Finally, I had finished packing. I told you I’d have my cell and to text in case of emergency during the day, and call any time between eight at night, and six in the morning. You laughed and told me to have a safe trip, and text you when I got there.

I had said bye to Mokuba and got on my way. You texted me every night while I was gone. It was a stressful trip for me. I worried about you each night going to bed, and I just hoped everything would be okay.

You didn’t know this, but Yugi had my number now too, in case he thought you needed me but wouldn’t say so. I texted him once a day to see how you were. He told me you were doing well but had moments where it was clear you missed me. He told me you had him over to the mansion. I told him I knew that, clearly you asked first.

He told me he also noticed while I was gone that you were wearing something of mine daily. It was so subtle he didn’t think others noticed, but that it would seem to help you calm down when you were feeling stressed.

Mokuba also texted me. He told me he never heard nightmares, but he did check on you once or twice just in case. He said you were always cheerful with him. You spent time in my room he noted, and he asked if I was your boyfriend.

I never kept from him that I was gay, and I told him if you ever were, I’d tell him. He asked me if I wanted you to be, and I told him it didn’t matter. He knew that meant yes.

As the last day ended, I got in the limo for the long drive back. I was awake the entire time although you had texted me hours earlier letting me know you were going to go lay down and would see me in the morning.

I finally arrived home close to three in the morning and I found you in my bed sleeping peacefully. I got changed quietly and slipped into bed next to you and kissed you gently on the cheek before falling asleep myself.

The next morning was one for the books. You woke up very early and snuggled into me close. You thought I was asleep as you whispered quietly into the early morning hours.

“I missed you Seto. It’s been a tough couple of days but waking up to you next to me… makes it all worth it.” With that I felt you relax easily into my arms as you fell back into an easy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was re-reading and realized in chapter 1, I started with Joey living alone, and moved to everything with his father... oops I fixed that.


	4. the night it all began

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey reveals the events of the night Seto picked him up from the Hospital.

After that day, I noticed a distinct shift. You were less coy around me, even when others were around. Touches outside of bed started to last a little longer than they needed to; looks were sent when you thought I wasn’t looking; you mumbled words in your sleep I don’t think I was ever meant to hear.

It was a stormy night when you came into my room quietly. It was still early but you looked shaken. I looked up from my work and smiled at you.

I remember you took a seat on my bed and curled up looking at me with a small smile.

“Can we talk Set?” You asked coyly. That was my new name when we were alone. It was the first nickname I ever had, and you were the only one who could call me it, ever.

I put my laptop down and went to sit with you on the bed. For the first time since I had returned (if not longer), you sat away from me. I was surprised but allowed you the space you wanted.

“Of course,” I said when you didn’t continue when I sat down. You looked nervous, you weren’t making eye contact and I couldn’t decide if it was cute, or if I should just be unnerved.

You took a deep breath and played with the pillow you had grabbed to hold. “I want to tell you the full truth about what happened that night Seto… I don’t want you to guess. However, I need a few promises before I tell you…” You were nervous, and all I wanted was to hold you but instead I nodded my head to hear the promises you needed from me.

“No revenge plots, and please don’t take pity on me.” You said it very quickly, then added. “And please don’t kick me out.” I smirked and said in an offhand way.

“Like that would ever happen.” I chuckled, and you seemed to loosen up a little bit at that.

It was another few minutes before you started telling me your story.

“That evening I had come home from school, having stayed late to work on some studies. I hadn’t gotten home until around eight at night, and my father was trashed, like always, when I walked in.” You took a deep breath and lowered your eyes as you held the pillow tighter for comfort. I wanted to hold you while you talked but knew you didn’t want to be held. I had to trust there would be a time tonight, but right now was not it.

“Unlike usual though, he was angry… Really angry.” Your eyes glazed over as you continued to explain.

“He’d been in my room, probably looking for money for booze if I had to bet on it.” You gave a dry laugh at that thought. “Instead he found my porn stash… my gay porn stash…” You paused here keeping your eyes down. I couldn’t help it I reached over to grab your hand. Your eyes were shining with tears, you looked both absolutely beautiful, and absolutely heartbreaking at the same time.

I released a long sigh and spoke quietly, “It’s okay Joey… I kind of had that already figured out… That your gay. Please don’t be mad I didn’t say anything, just… with me there is no need to say it. I’m bisexual myself.” I felt your breath hitch as you held my hand tighter, not needing more words I stayed quiet as you regrouped yourself.

“My dad is homophobic, at least I was pretty sure he was. I thought they were very well hidden. However, the evidence was there on the table in front of me.” You took a deep breath before you continued on, “I really don’t remember much after that. He knocked me around a lot, and I guess at some point I must have blacked out. All I remembered was waking up in the hospital.

“The doctors told me I had been beaten pretty badly and just dropped off in the front of the building.” You paused with another rough breath. “They told me that I was sexually assaulted. They told me that I had a concussion, and that I couldn’t be released on my own… That was when I called you.”

I moved at this and brushed the hair from your face to see the tears streaking down your cheeks as you finally spoke the words I think we’d both been terrified to admit for so long. I couldn’t stand it any longer and pulled you to my chest as you started to quietly cry.

“I don’t even remember it,” You were finally crying for you. “That was my virginity. I had never been with anyone, I haven’t even had a first kiss, and I’ve been raped. By my own father. Fuck it’s so fucked up. And here I am sobbing to the billion-dollar CEO who is what?” you paused here harshly.

“What are we Seto? What am I to you? Your roommate? Your friend? Your what? I’m just a fuck up from the wrong side of town. The media thinks I’m mooching off you, or you’re my sugar daddy. I don’t get it. You’re my fucking angel as far as I’m concerned.

“You’ve been there for no reason. You’ve held me while I bawled. You’ve kept by my side when I’m paranoid. You’ve done so much more than I can ever repay… Fuck Seto I don’t deserve you. I’ll be out of here once I’m 18, I’ll find a job and stop taking advantage of you.” You rambled on as if I wasn’t here. Your deepest fears on display for me and your vulnerability striking.

I tilted your face to look up at me before I spoke.

“You can be so dense sometimes. It’s like you think I take pity or give charity to people. It’s like you think I’d let anyone into my house. To stay under the same roof as my brother. It’s like you forget that I’m a cold-hearted CEO outside of the hours in your company.

“What you don’t know about me Joey, is that I was there once. I was under an abusive father. He adopted me, but I survived.

“Before you, I couldn’t take being touched Joey. I literally could not. I flinched the first time you touched me. You tapped your foot against my ankle, I always thought you realized it irked me. Over time though, you saved me from myself. I needed someone who could show me that being touched and being abused were entirely different things. I needed someone who cared unconditionally when they cared for someone.

“God do you care too. You care so much more than anyone else. You’re so the opposite of me it’s not funny. Everything I’m doing for you, you’d do for every person you could if you had the means. I envy that sometimes. However, that is what makes you so incredibly special.

“You can stay as long as you want. I mean that. You help around the house. You watch Mokuba, and I never worry about leaving you two alone together. You care about him as if he was your brother too.” I had to stop there because I realized I was going too deep.

“Seto, that didn’t answer my question… What are we?” You asked again, clearly picking up on me ignoring it.

“We’re Seto and Joey. We are the only ones who define that.” I knew that wasn’t what you meant, so I took the time to elaborate. “I don’t want artificial boundaries on our relationship Joey. We’ve been through a lot of shit. Individually and together, and it’s up to us to decide how we move forward.” I said it quietly, your honey eyes looking deep into my soul at the words I was too afraid to say. Luckily you seemed to realize I didn’t need to be pushed right now.

“Thank you Seto… I’m sorry I unloaded… I can go back to my room tonight if you want. I just… It’s been bothering me not being honest with you.” You said and even as you said it I was pulling you closer.

“I want you to stay here. I sleep better when I know you are here at night.” I said softly. You chuckled and smiled at me as you pulled me down into bed to cuddle.

“Good night Seto. Sleep well.” You had said it quietly as I held you.

I laid with you as you drifted to sleep, wondering how I got so lucky to find someone who truly understood me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the easiest chapter to write.
> 
> Feedback appreciated.   
> Think have 1 or 2 more chapters to this.


	5. Next Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joey and Seto take the next step

After that night, there were more good days then bad. More nights were spent together in my bed, than apart. We still bickered and fought at times, but that was when you shined most. That is when I saw the person I once knew up close and personal.

Time in public became more frequent. As you started to come back around to yourself, you wanted to spend more time with your friends. What was different was that you always asked me to join you, you’d ask Mokuba to join as well. You included me no matter how many times I told you no.

When we were with your friends, you were different though. You were no longer shy, you were no longer the guy who cuddled me at night. You were fierce. When Devlin tried to pick a fight with me, you told him to shove it where the sun don’t shine, then amended that maybe he should have Tristan do it for him.

Your friends looked at me like I was crazy as I gave that laugh I know I reserve for you in front of them. You smirked and leaned into me on the couch we were sitting on together. You were so proud of yourself for that moment.

Those became more frequent as you learned my humor and likes and dislikes.

It was the night you discovered I was ticklish that was my undoing though. No one, not even Mokuba, knew I was ticklish. Yet you got playful when I ignored you skimming emails for work on my phone. See I was relaxed in bed with you, and that was really the trick, to get me relaxed enough to be able to tickle me. I had great self-control usually.

Your eyes shined with laugher as you started tickling my sides. I had tossed my phone away to grab your hands, but you had the leverage, pinning my hands above my head while you tickled me with your other hand, straddling my waist at the same time.

Once you finally conceded, I saw the tears of laughter in your eyes. You had released my hands, but were still straddling me, and I saw an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.

I slowly moved my hands to your sides, and gently ran them up to loop around your neck. You continued to smile as I carefully sat up without moving you from your position. You allowed this and moved your hands slowly to my waist.

Your honey eyes shined as you finally spoke. “What are you thinking Seto?”

It was spoken softly, like a gust of wind. If I hadn’t been sitting so close I wouldn’t have heard you, but I had and you knew it. I had felt my own eyes widen slightly at the question. I answered without thinking twice.

“How bad I want to kiss you right now.” I said softly, holding your eyes in a solid look to make sure you understood this wasn’t some meaningless kiss or some game to me. I wanted you with everything I had. I wanted to take this step, but I wanted you to take it with me.

“What is stopping you?” You asked, a frown gracing your lips as you looked away from me.

I moved my hand to gently coax you into making eye contact again.

“I’m afraid,” I said softly. “I’m afraid that you will run. I’m afraid you’ll reject me. I’m afraid that I’ve never kissed someone I wanted to more than anything. I’m afraid you’ll think this will change what we already have. I’m afraid-“ You cut me off here by pressing your lips to mine in a solid kiss.

When you pulled away, you held my eye contact for a few seconds before you spoke. “I promise I won’t run, and I won’t reject you. I promise, I want this just as bad. I promise it only changes for the better. I’m afraid we’ll move to fast though Set… and that is the only fear I can see right now.” You said softly. I smiled and gave you a soft kiss.

“One day at a time Joey… This is at our pace. Just like it always is.” I smiled at you. “I need to be honest with you though…” You looked worried here.

“I love you… and Yugi already knows. He called me on that months ago.” You laughed at this and nuzzled my neck.

“I love you too Seto. I’m not surprised Yugi saw that. He’s perceptive like that.” You stated and slid off my lap and laid us into bed to cuddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this written a good week ago, but really didn't know if it was right - so I put it down... then life caught up and I got sick... so I finally went and reread it, and decided it worked better than I thought when I wrote it... But still not sure. 
> 
> Feels like they're almost walking on thin ice, but so comfortable together that it doesn't matter.


End file.
